Sex After Child Birth: How Long to Wait and Why?

1. First Trimester: Decrease in Libido

• Hormonal Shifts : The surge in hormones, particularly progesterone and estrogen , can cause fatigue, nausea, and mood swings, which may lower libido.
• Morning Sickness and Fatigue : Many women experience nausea, vomiting, and extreme tiredness in the first trimester, which can reduce interest in sex.
• Emotional Adjustments : The emotional adjustments to pregnancy, including worries about the baby, future, or body changes, can also contribute to a lowered sex drive.

2. Second Trimester: Increase in Libido

• Hormonal Balance : Hormones tend to stabilize in the second trimester, often resulting in more energy and less nausea. This may lead to an increase in libido.
• Increased Blood Flow : Blood flow to the pelvic area increases during pregnancy, which can heighten sensitivity and sexual desire.
• Feeling More Comfortable : By the second trimester, many women have adjusted to the idea of pregnancy and may feel more comfortable with their changing bodies, leading to an increase in sexual interest.

3. Third Trimester: Decrease in Libido

• Physical Discomfort : As the body becomes larger and heavier, physical discomforts like back pain, fatigue, and difficulty finding comfortable positions can reduce libido.
• Concerns About Baby : Worry about harming the baby or discomfort during intercourse may cause a decline in sexual desire. Though sex is generally safe in a healthy pregnancy, some women may feel more protective of their body and baby.
• Emotional Factors : Anxiety about childbirth, preparing for the baby, and emotional stress may also decrease interest in sex.

During postpartum, your body is actively working to regulate hormones, shrink the uterus back into its natural size and positioning, contract the cervix back into it's closed state, and regulate your libido after birth.

• Hormones like oxytocin (the "love hormone") and prolactin (which helps with milk production) play significant roles in libido changes. Oxytocin may increase sexual desire, while prolactin can reduce it, especially toward the end of pregnancy.
• Body Image : Some women feel more confident and sexy with their pregnancy bodies, while others may struggle with the changes, impacting libido.
• Partner Connection : Emotional intimacy and communication with a partner can influence sexual desire. Feeling connected may boost libido, while stress or relationship issues may decrease it.

Every woman’s experience is different, and some may experience consistent libido changes throughout pregnancy, while others may notice more significant fluctuations. It's important to communicate openly with your partner about these changes and to adjust expectations as needed.

This is also important as you navigate libido changes after having your baby, especially if you decide to breastfeed.

Breastfeeding has been known to have a significant effect on libido due to the following factors:

1. Hormonal Influence:

• Prolactin : Breastfeeding stimulates the production of prolactin , a hormone that promotes milk production but also tends to suppress libido. Higher levels of prolactin can reduce sexual desire.

• Estrogen Levels : Breastfeeding lowers estrogen levels, which can cause vaginal dryness, making sex uncomfortable or less appealing. This drop in estrogen can also decrease libido because it plays a key role in sexual arousal and lubrication.

2. Physical and Emotional Fatigue : Taking care of a newborn and the demands of breastfeeding can lead to exhaustion, which may leave little energy or interest for sex. The physical demands of nursing, coupled with lack of sleep, can impact a new mom’s desire for intimacy.

3. Oxytocin Release : On the positive side, breastfeeding releases oxytocin , the "love hormone," which can boost emotional connection and closeness with your partner. However, this doesn't always translate to increased sexual desire, especially if other factors like fatigue or hormonal imbalance are at play.

For these reasons, more moms choose to exclusively pump breast milk, known as exclusively pumping to aid in suppressing hormones and prolonging their period from returning, which can also impact your libido.

Breastfeeding can act as a natural form of birth control, however if you're looking to avoid getting, It's recommended that you look into alternative and more reliable methods of birth control, especially if your menstrual cycle hasn't started back.

You don't want to risk vaginal irritation, infection or tearing from childbirth stitches, as this can prolong your recovery process. 

You should consider, this is a period where you're adjusting to new life, new schedules, sleep deprivation (lack of sleep), and new daily routines. Aside from vaginal risks, having sex too soon can also increase your chances for another pregnancy.